question by reading from a manual or a flow-chart. If the customer is
desperate enough to call tech-support, then by that time, it's likely
that the problem they want help with isn't covered by the flow-chart.
While most of what you said is true, this part is not only 'mostly' false
but 'completely'. Too many people calling 'tech' support (because sales is
far far too stupid to offer any kind of support, the calls were routed to
tech support although in no way was it a technical issue) to ask what side
of the helpful "how to plug in a cable" poster was 'up'. People calling to
ask if the green cable went to the red or green port, and if the red cable
should go in the blue or green port (surprisingly, the idea of it going in
the red port never crossed their mind). I have seen people try to plug a
USB cable into the phone jack of the modem. One time, while working for an
ISP, one of the managers came up with the brilliant idea of having the
techs make a list of the top ten call reasons, so we could include a list
of them with the install disks we sent out. He was amazed that I refused,
and explained that this would reduce calls. I calmly stood up, walked over
to the area where the disks, envelopes, etc were (basically, everything we
included in the welcome packet) and handed him the piece of paper included
with EVERY packet. Yep, you guessed it...a top ten list of common
When faced with this amount of stupidity, companies started putting the
low-paid stupid people at the 'front of the line'. These people didn't
know the product, could barely read, but had an advantage over the
customers, who apparently couldn't read at all. As the saying goes, in the
land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. When your customer base has
an average IQ of 79, all you need answering the phones is an IQ of 80, or
so corporate america thinks.
This worked about as well as you would imagine...with the intelligent
people calling with, as you mentioned, real problems not covered in the
manual having to jump through hoops to get transferred up to someone with a
higher cranial capacity than their cup of coffee. Then some idiot decided
even more money could be saved by getting rid of not only those with a
brain, but the idiots in the front as well, and send their jobs overseas.
The fact that this is entirely false aside, what happened is now that
average 79 IQ customer base is talking to someone on the other end of the
phone who has never seen the product, does not understand the product, and
rather than getting training on the product has gotten intense training on
how to 'not sound foreign'. Does this customer base have the wit to fill
in the knowledge void on the other end of the line? Of course not. Now,
those with real issues cannot get help, and even the idiots who can't
figure out how to turn the machine on can't either.
Though actually, come to think of it, this might not be that bad. The
intelligent ones turn elsewhere for help, the dumb ones don't know how.
The less idiots operating spam zombies because they were too dumb to know
how to use a computer, the better.
Anyway, I've far digressed. Back to the main point...the vast vast vast
majority of people calling tech support do NOT have a problem. At least,
not one that tech support can address.
Minister of All Things Digital & Electronic, and Holder of Past Knowledge
***@email.com. Cabal# 24601-fnord | Sleep is irrelevant.
I speak for no one but myself, and |Caffeine will be assimilated.
no one else speaks for me. O- | Decaf is futile.